


The Third Saturday in November

by justhuman



Category: NCIS
Genre: College Football, Episode: s02e22 SWAK, M/M, Season/Series 04, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-27
Updated: 2009-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-10 21:36:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/104567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhuman/pseuds/justhuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony explains to Tim what being a Buckeye means to him. In <em>SWAK</em>, Tony and Dr. Brad Pitt (not the actor) aren't just filling in a little back ground and giving Kate something to gripe about.  They're alluding to one of the great sports rivalries - Michigan Wolverines and the Ohio State Buckeyes. The 13-13 tie mentioned in <em>SWAK</em> was the 1992 game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Third Saturday in November

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

[my_ncis_fic](http://justhuman.livejournal.com/tag/my_ncis_fic)  
  
---|---  
  
  
What's American Thanksgiving without some football talk?

**The Third Saturday in November**

_Tony: They teach you efficacy at Harvard Medical?  
Doctor Pitt: Michigan.  
Tony: Can't be. It's too weird.  
Doctor Pitt: What, are you a Wolverine, too?  
TONY: Buckeye!  
Doctor Pitt: Wait, you're that DiNozzo?  
Tony: Yeah.  
Doctor Pitt: Ninety-two. Columbus!  
Tony: We kissed our sisters.  
Doctor Pitt: Thirteen-thirteen tie. You broke your leg in the fourth quarter.  
Tony: You broke my leg in the fourth quarter. _  
\-- 2.22 SWAK

  
"Tony, I accept that there's a rivalry. Do we really have to watch-"

"Tim, you wouldn't drive to Ann Arbor," Tony said, in a tone that brooked no argument.

"Yeah, because spending ten hours on the road, to travel the 600 miles from DC to Michigan for a sold out football game seemed extreme."

"You know, you could keep things in context. I backed off and said we could drive directly there and skip going through Columbus, Ohio. That would have been seven hours and 500 miles."

"Eight hours and 520 miles."

"Not if I had driven."

"Tony-"

"Okay, but promise me now that next year we can drive to Columbus for the game. I'm an OSU alum, so I've got a better chance of scoring tickets in Columbus. Besides it will be better for your first game to be with the hometown crowd. Also, Columbus is only five and a half hours and 400 miles.

"Six and a half-"

"Tim!"

Tim held up his hands. "Tony the question wasn't that important.'' Tim knew that look that was on Tony's face. To anyone else, it was a thoughtful resolve, but Tim knew better. It wasn't the dramatic faces when he missed out on the last donut. It was the cover-up that he had learned at his parents' knees. "It's really that important to you, isn't it?"

Tony reached out and grabbed both of Tim's arms. "Tim I broke a leg for OSU in -

"The 1992 game during the fourth quarter. Broken incidentally by Dr. Brad Pitt-"

"Not the actor."

"Who ended your athletic career, but saved you when you were dying from the plague. I may have heard this one once or twice," Tim said.

"Technically it was basketball, not football that ended my pro career."

"Knee injury when the Buckeyes went up against UCLA in the final four," Tim said. "I don't understand it, but I accept that the game is important to you."

"Next year in Columbus?" Tony asked.

"If you get tickets, we'll go," Tim agreed and hoped that the topic was at an end.

"Great! Let's watch the TV special!" Tony clapped Tim on the shoulder.

"Tony, I was just guessing and guessing badly. You don't have to go through all this to explain. I thought it was all about identification with the underdog, established at an early age-"

"What!"

"The comic books," Tim said. "A lot of gay and bisexual kids found solace in comics like the _X-men_, because it portrayed unique individuals as heroes."

"Yeah, no." Tony shook his head.

"Yeah, you identified-"

"No. I didn't identify, because unlike certain geeks I know, I was learning to be a bisexual man by hiding a hard on in the locker room, not by reading comic books. But yeah, I can get how that helped out some guys."

Tim counted to ten in his head. "Then I thought that maybe it was because you had a thing for Hugh Jackman."

"Well, yeah, but no."

Tim sighed. "Tony-"

"Yes, I have a thing for Hugh Jackman, just like you do. I think we should add him to our threesome list-"

"What threesome list?"

"The one we should have that should start with Hugh Jackman. And if you're too prudish for a threesome, than I think we should add him to our freebie lists."

"Freebie list? As in a list of people that are so irresistible that your partner should understand when you succumb to the desire to have sex with them?" McGee asked.

"Yes."

"No, not a chance."

"Hey, I gave up dating other people for you."

Tim smiled. "I know. I like that, and since a freebie list would involve other people..."

"But a limited number of other people that we would know about in advance. You get a list too."

"How gracious of you." Tim said, sarcastically and then decided to get to the heart of the matter. "You know why I'm not letting you have a list, and why you're not ever going to get one? You would put Gibbs on your list."

Tony puffed himself up, indignantly. "I would-" He pursed his lips and then bit down on his lower lip. "Not."

Tim lifted both eyebrows.

"Okay, I would, but Gibbs would never - not with me. Hell, I'm not even a redhead. But I can live without a freebie list. See, I have _compromised_ on the whole list thing. Now _we_ can watch the TV special. Although, I think you should reconsider the whole threesome thing, if Hugh Jackman is involved."

Tim had no resolve and smiled at Tony as he shook his head - not saying yes, but not exactly saying no. He let out a breath. "Okay, I'll get the popcorn."

*** End of the First Quarter ***

"I'm starting to get the picture, Tony."

"Yes, but do you _understand_?"

"I understand that Ohio State and Michigan have an extreme rivalry. It's harder to believe that it deserved its own HBO special."

Tony hit the pause button, turned in his seat, and looked Tim in the eye. "That's _it_?"

Tim blinked, wondering what the heck Tony wanted him to say. "I had no idea that the saying, _They put their pants on one leg at a time - same as everybody else_, originated in the Ohio-Michigan football conflict. I mean I'm really starting to get that this means a lot to you as an Ohio State alum."

"As a Buckeye, McGee. I'm a Buckeye." Tony grabbed the popcorn bowl, threw himself back in the cushions and hit play.

"And a buckeye is some kind of _nut_ right?" There was too much bite in his voice and Tim regretted it.

Tony hit pause. "MIT - home of the beavers, right?"

"Yes, beavers are very industrious. They're one of the few animals that actually build things, divert waterways. It's a good mascot for engineers."

"Huh, I never realized that," Tony said as he hit play. "I just thought beaver was another word for pussy."

All regret faded for Tim. "Gee, I don't remember that coming up last night, but maybe that was because your mouth was too busy with my-"

"We're watching TV here, McGee!"

*** Half Time ***

Tim snatched the remote from Tony's hand, and rewound. "My god, I know that guy! You have that framed picture on your wall. It's the one with all the smaller pictures of your family."

"Yeah, my Aunt Theresa sent that to me when I went to college. What about it?"

Tim pinched the bridge of his nose. "The man I thought was your grandfather is Woody Hayes."

"He was a great man-"

"He was an infamous football coach who was not related to you!"

"He won sixteen out of twenty-four. That's 16-7 with one tie," Tony shouted.

Tim held up a hand. "Okay, I am actually starting to get all this. It's more than just a little nose-tweaking going on. But the whole secret shoe thing-"

Tony slapped a hand down on Tim's thigh and gave it a squeeze, grabbing the remote with the other hand. "Keep watching, Tim."

*** End of the 3rd Quarter ***

** _We're very proud of the Wolverine. And we know that the Ohio State people have the Buckeye, and we also know that the buckeye is a hairless nut._ **

There was a brief struggle for the remote, which Tim won.

"Tony, I'd like to be very serious here for a moment."

Tony squinted at him with one eye.

"There are any number of things I would do for you if _your_ buckeyes were hairless."

"Oh dream on, McGee-"

"Consider what kind of a fan you are. Would you hesitate about painting your face, wearing a lucky sweatshirt for a month?"

"We're talking about shaving my balls!"

Tim sat up and took a breath. "You can have the threesome list."

Tony opened his mouth, obviously ready to argue. "Really?"

Tim thought it through for a second. "Anyone but Gibbs is fair game."

Tony swallowed. "There's some kind of oral fixation involved with my buckeyes, yes?"

"Oh yes," Tim smiled and nodded.

"Oh hell, yes!"

Tim hit the play button.

** _We look down our noses at Ohio State._ **

Tim raised a finger in the air. "Mike Wallace is a part of this madness? Mike, Mr.-respected-newsman, Wallace is part of this? I'm supposed to believe that he's been doing this since 1939 when he graduated?"

"Respected my ass, he's on the wrong side; he's a Wolverine," Tony said indignantly and then lowered his voice, adding gravel to it. "And look what who've we got on our side. It's not some pruned up news guy. Here's Ja-ck!"

"Point taken, and by the way your Jack Nicholas impression still sucks."

** _Animosity in the region existed long before there was a football field to settle the score. In fact, it dates back to 1835 after Michigan had petitioned for statehood and discovered that through a land survey error part of its territory, the Toledo strip, had been claimed by the State of Ohio. Michigan and Ohio militias engaged in an angry but bloodless border dispute that ended with Toledo remaining part of Ohio._ **

Tim scratched his head. "If you end up with Toledo, can you actually claim victory?"

Tony turned towards him, obviously ready to argue and then confusion set into his features. "I don't know."

*** Fourth Quarter ***

** _Archival Footage: Woody Hayes punches a player from the opposing team at the Gator Bowl._ **

"Ah, Woody, you shouldn't have done that," Tim said. He looked down when Tony took his hand, shaking his head too.

"You're getting it now, Tim; you're getting it."

** _If you say Woody, it can only be one person. Still very much endeared to the public here. And it's a little bit like being in love with a very beautiful woman who has a broken nose._ **

Tony nodded. "Do you get that, Tim?"

Tim rolled his eyes at the over the top metaphor. Then he looked and saw Tony's face etched with emotion and obviously moved by it. "Beautiful, broken nose. Yeah, I think I get that."

** _Woody and Bo Schembechler remained good friends despite their part in the great rivalry, known as The Ten Year War. Bo and Woody respected each other and loved each other._ **

'I had a speech at the Kiwanis Club in Dayton. They had talked to Woody earlier in the year about coming down and introducing me. He was too frail to do it. But he would not - he would not - take no for an answer. So he had a kid drive him down in his truck. He could hardly walk, and he got up there for a half an hour...and after that, Woody went home and died.' - Bo Schembechler

"Tony..." Tim said and stopped, because he didn't like the wobbly quality his voice was taking on.

"The whole misty thing - it doesn't count if we're watching a sports story, Tim."

"Gotcha."

"It's just very important that we don't look at each other."

"Double-gotcha," Tim said and squeezed Tony's hand.

** _If you don't think it's a big deal, ask the guy who lost it. It's a stigma that you carry for 364 days until you get a chance to remove it and get that blemish off your soul._ **

"I'm getting it now, Tony."

** _How do you make Michigan cookies? You put 'em in a big bowl and beat 'em!_ **

How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your front porch? You pay him for the pizza!

"Maybe not getting it as much as I thought," Tim said.

Tony hit the stop button and spun in his seat. "Come on, Tim! The verbal jabs and punches are a part of it."

"I suppose. I do get the rivalry and the tradition. There's just one thing I'm still confused about." Tim said, taking Tony's hand and rubbing his thumb over the sensitive skin of the inner wrist, over some light bruising from the night before.

"When we do this, when you give me your trust and let me tie you down."

"Among many other wondrous things." Tony slid closer to Tim and pressed their sides together tightly.

"Why is wolverine your safeword?"

"Because things would really have to be desperate and out of control for me to call on a wolverine for help."

"I'm not sure that fully matches the intent of a safeword; I need to know you're safe," Tim insisted.

"Hey, McM-I-T and I-got-my-masters-in-biomed-from-Johns-Hopkins, I prefer to put my trust in beavers and blue jays."

"Blue jays have really powerful beaks, perfect for cracking nuts." Tim ran his thumb along Tony's jaw line.

"I can't tell you how much this Buckeye is hoping that that's true."

~end~

  
November 21, 2009 -- Ann Arbor, Michigan. The Buckeyes defeated the Wolverines 21-10

_**NCIS Fic: The Third Saturday in November** _

 

**Author's Note:**

> To prove that I will do all sorts of crazy-stupid research, I went to [the Wikipedia page](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan_%E2%80%93_Ohio_State_rivalry) devoted to just the rivalry and watched the HBO Special - [Michigan vs. Ohio State: The Rivalry](http://www.hbo.com/events/rivalry/). The quotes in the story were transcribed in whole or in part from the HBO Special.
> 
> Many thanks to [](http://djmicheals.livejournal.com/profile)[**djmicheals**](http://djmicheals.livejournal.com/) and [](http://lookithaslegs.livejournal.com/profile)[**lookithaslegs**](http://lookithaslegs.livejournal.com/) for the holiday weekend beta. I did a bunch of editing based on their comments, so don't blame them ;-)


End file.
